Today's Tweens Have Less Independence, and That Costs Parents More

Many parents today are paying for babysitters and child care for their kids well past age 10. That is a big change from a generation ago, when many kids that age were already watching themselves — or even babysitting younger neighbors. A new look at U.S. Census data shows that this trend is real and growing, and it is costing families more money every year.

Some of today's parents grew up as 'latchkey kids.' That means they came home from school to an empty house and took care of themselves. Now, many of those same adults are hiring babysitters for their own children who are 10, 11, or even 13 years old. Lynn Perkins, the CEO of babysitter-finding site UrbanSitter, said the trend has stayed strong over the 15 years her company has tracked data. 'I was hired by families on our street to watch their kids, at an age when I probably now, today, would have had a babysitter myself,' she said.

Researchers say several things are driving this shift. Some parents simply worry more than past generations did. But experts also point to fewer safe walking routes, less public transportation, and the rise of travel sports teams that require rides to faraway games. There is also growing concern about kids' mental health. Some studies warn that too little independence can actually hurt children's mental health — but kids who are struggling may also need more help and supervision.

The cost of child care is going up fast, much faster than the cost of most other things. A study of Census data from 2023 to 2025 found that more than one-third of parents with a child aged 1 to 3 pay for child care, spending a median of more than $9,000 a year. As kids get older, that number drops — but it does not disappear. About 15 percent of parents whose youngest child is 10 still pay for regular child care, spending around $3,000 a year on average.

Babysitter pay has also climbed sharply in recent years. The website Sittercity reported that babysitters earned a median rate of about $12.50 an hour from 2018 to 2020. Today, that number has jumped to $22.50 an hour. One big reason for the increase is that fewer teenagers are taking babysitting jobs. Most sitters now are adults with more experience and skills, and they charge higher rates to match.

Isabelle Plante, who runs Sittercity, said parents are finding creative ways to cut costs without leaving kids alone. Some are changing their own work schedules so they can pick up their kids themselves. 'They're actually just piecing it together more,' Plante said. 'They're ending their workday to pick up their kids instead of getting a nanny to do that.' Even small changes can add up to big savings for families over time.

At a girls' basketball camp in Arlington, Virginia, some 13-year-olds shared what their own child care situations look like. Ellie Naumoff, 13, said she and her 15-year-old sister have a nanny mainly because neither can drive yet. 'In a year, we won't really need her,' Ellie said. 'We're just on the brink of needing a nanny. We just need someone to drive us.' Kaia McFadden, 13, said she has not had a traditional babysitter since she was 10, though a nanny still drives her to activities every day.

Middle school teacher Douglas Haddad has taught tweens in Simsbury, Connecticut, for 26 years. He has watched parents spend more and more on activities and supervision for their kids over that time. He said many parents skip the free school team option and pay for fancier programs they think will give their kids an edge. 'One of the biggest differences today is the constant comparison culture,' Haddad said. 'Social media allows parents to see what everyone else's children are doing.' He worries this pressure is making kids less able to think for themselves and solve problems.

Not everyone agrees that today's tweens are too sheltered. Several girls at the basketball camp said they are already babysitters themselves and feel very capable. Sloane Richardson, 13, finds babysitting jobs through an app called Bambino and charges $12.50 an hour. Becca Pyser, 13, babysits at least three times a week for two families on her street and earns up to $25 an hour. Fiona Englehart, 13, said she has been staying home without her parents since she was 7 years old. As Fiona put it with a grin: 'The kids are always fine with it. The parents are the ones that need to trust them.'