Caregiver Creep: How Helping an Elderly Relative Can Slowly Become a Full-Time Job

Every day, millions of Americans help an older family member with small tasks — picking up medicine, driving to a doctor, or buying groceries. These simple tasks can slowly pile up into something much bigger. Experts call this 'caregiver creep,' and it is becoming a serious issue across the United States. A 2025 report found that 63 million Americans — about one in every four adults — are already acting as caregivers.

Caregiver creep happens when a person slowly takes on more and more caregiving duties without noticing how much their life has changed. It is different from suddenly becoming a caregiver after an emergency, like a serious accident. Instead, it builds little by little, and many people don't realize what has happened until they are already deep in a full-time role. Healthcare experts say awareness about this problem is growing.

Kim Elliott, 45, from Denver, Colorado, experienced caregiver creep with her father-in-law over many years. She ordered his groceries, bought his clothes, and made extra meals to drop off at his home. She only realized she was his caregiver when a doctor used that word at an appointment. 'At that moment, I recognized that I was the one caring for him,' Elliott said.

Elliott also went through a sudden caregiving situation when her mother was diagnosed with leukemia in 2020. Her mother had to move from California to Colorado to live with Elliott right away. Elliott became her mother's stem cell donor and full-time caregiver during the pandemic. 'That was an absolute plunge,' she said.

Jackee de Lagarde, 49, of New Jersey, began caregiving in 2010 when her father became ill, and the role never really ended. After her father died, she helped support her mother financially. When her son was born in 2013, her mother moved in — a positive arrangement at first, since her mother helped with childcare. But in 2021, her mother was diagnosed with a rare brain disease, and de Lagarde became a full-time caregiver again.

Doctors use two groups of tasks to measure how well an older person can care for themselves. The first group, Activities of Daily Living (ADL), includes bathing, dressing, eating, and moving around the house. The second group, Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADL), covers more complex skills like managing money, cooking, and driving. These categories help healthcare providers figure out when someone needs more support.

Dr. Rosanne Leipzig, a professor in New York, says signs like wearing the same clothes daily, not answering the phone, or having an empty fridge can mean an older person needs more help. She says 'aging denial' — refusing to accept that a loved one is getting older — is a major problem. 'You've got to be prepared. If you know what's normal and what to expect, you can gear up for it and adapt,' she said.

Caregiving can cost a lot of money and time. Home care costs about $34 per hour, and assisted living can cost over $5,000 per month. Many caregivers cut back on work or leave their jobs, which means they lose income. Experts say planning ahead and talking with a social worker can help families before things get overwhelming.

Caregivers also need support for themselves, since providing care for a long time can be exhausting and lonely. Elliott started a newsletter called Gray Monster in 2025 to share resources with people caring for aging parents. De Lagarde launched a podcast called 'Who Cares About Me?' to help caregivers feel heard. 'Everybody's going through it. We all have some of the same experiences,' de Lagarde said.